We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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