girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
