it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
