Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
