seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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