can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
