In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
