The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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