remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
