so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
