A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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