May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
