Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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