I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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