I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize