he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
