I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The air taste purple.
Randomize
