We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
