it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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