1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Semen is not good for contacts.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
