i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
