Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
