Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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