dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
