I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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