Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
