We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
