i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
