This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
