Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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