Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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