We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
