no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
