Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
