so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
