Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
