Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
