My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
