i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
