chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
