shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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