At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize