Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
