the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
