That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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