he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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