I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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