Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
