I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize