Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
