She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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