nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so let's talk penis.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
