I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
