My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
