One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
