"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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