If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize