He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
