I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
