Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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