do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
