Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
